Ask Felicia: Getting Unstuck

Q: I'm having a difficult time right now. It seems like I'm just stuck in a rut with work and personal stuff, and cannot get anything to change. How can I get focused in a new direction?

A: Mastering your thoughts and mindset is one of the most important skills you can learn. Though many of us did not learn that from our families or in school, tools and practices abound on centering, focusing, and getting into alignment.

Still, I find it helps to hear what works for people I know and trust, so I'll share a few of my own tools.

Decide you want to feel and think differently.

This sounds easy, but in truth, many of us want to hold onto the "stories" that are bothering us. Somehow, it serves us to be able to talk about all the bad stuff that happened that got us into the rut. The problem is that the more we focus on it, the deeper that familiar groove can get.

If you really want to get into a different headspace, make the decision and commitment to do what is needed to do so. Then try some simple but effective things to move your mindset and energy in a new direction. (Keep reading for some of mine.)

Make a list of things that put you in a better mood. 

Write them down with pen and paper if possible. They can be simple things like "Eating a good breakfast" and "Petting my dog," or more complex, like "Exercising for 20 minutes a day" or "Going to the movies." Decide which ones are the easiest to add into your life and start doing at least one of those a day, more if you can. You deserve it!

Larger mindset shift tools, like going on a beach vacation or painting your bedroom a new color, can be more expensive or time-intensive to make happen. However, even taking small steps in these areas can be great mood shifters. 

• Enjoy some fruity drinks on your lunch break as you quiz ChatGPT on how to get the best flight prices.

• Grab a few paint swatches or buy a cute pillow in a color you'd choose for your room. 

• Stash a few bucks away every week to create a recreation/redecoration fund.

Add music to your life.

If you're like me, playing music often leads to singing and dancing, at least if the music moves me. If you want to be uplifted and energized, find and play music that reflects that. If you are overwhelmed and need to rest, find something mellow and calm. Whatever genre you choose, it helps set the tone and atmosphere for your brain and body to follow.

Note: Don't listen to anything that makes you sad or transports you to difficult memories unless you want to risk being stuck a little longer.

Breathe.

Whether you do some type of organized breathwork or meditation, or simply stop and take some deep breaths a few times a day, getting enough oxygen intake is truly life-giving.

As a bonus, deep exhaling helps to calm the whole body and help you tone down the fight or flight response that can be present when you are feeling stressed.

Look for symbolic opportunities to refresh your thoughts or refocus your mind.

1. Imagine that every time you cross a bridge or walk through a doorway, you are entering a brand new world with fresh eyes.

2. Choose a number on the clock - perhaps your birthdate or 11:11. Set an alarm for that time. When it goes off, consciously pause, reflect on where you are, and make adjustments to realign your attitude or outlook as needed.

3. Each time you wash your hands or body, imagine rinsing away everything that's been holding you back. Picture negative attitudes and old beliefs sliding down the drain, leaving you ready to make a clean start on whatever you like.

How do you refocus and realign? I'd love to hear what works best for you!

Next Steps

Book a private coaching session for personalized strategies that move you from stuck to unstoppable. Reserve your spot now and make your next move with confidence.

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