As someone who always used to be the person with something to say, an insight, story, or helpful piece of advice, I’ve found of late that I’ve lost some of my voice. Well maybe not lost it but put it away for a bit to be still, quiet and to listen. That sounds good – like I’m being really mindful, contemplative, and maybe even a better friend. But the truth is, while being still and silent is often a restorative measure for me, too much of a good thing is the opposite.
What I’ve noticed recently is that although I crave being quiet and alone, the sound of loneliness and not being heard is deafening. The self-love I’ve heaped on myself while trying to overcome the multifaceted layers of grief of closing my business, giving up doing massage for the last 2 years, losing one of the best friends of my life who was also like a father in so many ways, and just the whole !(*$@*#@!! Pandemic has been insulating me from a deeper love I need in my life – that of giving to others.
I’m not ready to open another wellness spa or revive my massage career as it was. But I am ready to do something. I’m ready to open the rusty gates of my heart and let the stores of love, ideas, nurturing, and compassion I’ve held in to start flowing out again.
I know my tendency is to go from zero to 100 and burn all the fuel in the tank before the first lap is over. So I’m going to start with some small things to give back and let my love back into the world.
I’m looking at doing small things
Today’s step…testing out doing a podcast. For years I’ve thought about doing a podcast but have always talked myself out of it for one reason or another. Not enough time, expertise, tech skills, etc. I’ve also wondered wondering how I would get content or guests. But as I was thinking about it this morning, the phrase came to me that “You already have everything you need.”
So, I’m not gonna stress about having all the equipment right or even sounding good. The title I’ve come up with may be wrong and I have no idea where the content is going to go. I’m just gonna start by pressing the record button and seeing what happens. LATER…I can perfect the look, the lighting, the sound, the content. Today I am simply Opening the gate and allowing things to flow.
Then this morning, I was thinking about a podcast and I recently discovered a podcast I really like, Optimal Daily Living - hosted by Justin Mali. It consists mainly of Justin reading blogs, quotes, posts, and articles that speak to him. They are short and sweet and usually very helpful. So this got me thinking…
On my bookshelf, I have volumes of pages I’ve marked from books I’ve read – things that have spoken to me, inspired me, and made me see things in a new light, whether that is how to love myself more, let go of anger, get motivated, market myself or anything else in-between, and these marked pages hold a lot of wisdom. And while I can’t read large amounts of other people’s writing without getting their permission, and that will take some time, it has given me a starting point.
So to open the gate, I have decided to start here – by sharing a few words which speak to me and which I hope will provide you with insight or inspiration.
For now, a quote:
“Just write…if you open the gate it gets better and better.” Dusty Redmon