Comforted by Structure vs. Restricted by Rules

How do you know when something is finished? When you've done all you could or should do?

I really had no plan when I started this piece, as per usual with most of my art. I just followed this tiny nudge inside my heart to take one step at a time and see where it led.

It started out being all about creating something fun and new, while drawing stronger and clearer boundaries. As it's come closer to being finished, I can see that it's also about finding new ways of looking at life and finding my way through places that had felt closed off.

When I look at this piece, I see hidden pathways that are open and connected in ways I didn't realize until I stepped away. I also see places where there is opportunity to improve, to find work-arounds and do things better moving forward.

I'm really proud of this piece for so many reasons. The main one is that, without realizing it at the onset, I feel like I've captured a very significant time in my life.

Maybe this painting will become a print for others to buy on clothes or greeting cards - I'll think about that later. However, at least for now, the original is getting framed and hung in a place where I get to see it regularly and remember all it has taught me.

This week, I've been working on a few experiments for an exhibition I plan to apply for in January. All pieces must be entirely in black and white.

While I love black and white, I don't always like rules or limitations that others place on me. Thus, this has been an interesting exploration of enjoying the structure I'm choosing to be a part of (the exhibition); contemplating quiet rebellion; and thinking about new ways to express color.

And I'll share a funny little secret. There's a petite dot of color - a tiny symbol of defiance - planted in both of the pieces I hope to enter.

I can't help but laugh at the contradiction. One week, I am enamored by the structure and boundaries I created, happy to use only the most basic of colors and shapes. The next, I am struggling to live by the one rule - to only use black and white - of an event I want to be a part of.

It's clear that I like to live life on my own terms. That I can be disciplined when I want to be, but bristle when commanded to be by others.

I'm not judging myself about this - only observing the situation and considering where, besides my art, this might be in play.

How about you? Where are the contradictions in your life? Do they provide a meaningful contrast or a challenging conflict?

In my case, I see this as one more indicator that a life as a self-employed, entrepreneurial, creative spirit is where I belong. It reminds me that I've purposely created a life and career where I get to build the structure, set the terms, and write the rules much of the time. While I can conform to most of the frameworks in place of life and business, I also need a space to be free.

It's amazing how art continues to provide new avenues for understanding myself. Thank you for giving me a space to share it.

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“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer