I am a control freak. Maybe not in all things, but in enough things that I evidently have a reputation.
For example, my husband, when asked if he would work for me (again) said, “You’re the boss of me everywhere else. You can’t be my boss at work too.” He means it in the nicest of ways, but is also very serious.
Yesterday, my writing coach, Gloria – who I’ve known for at least 10 years but have never worked with in this way – told me she was hesitant to work with me at first because of how “focused” I am. She elaborated, saying she didn’t think I would deal with her feedback well because I like things just so.
I cringed when she told me and was a bit embarrassed.😕
But you know what? She was right.
My “focus” is exactly the reason why I have self-published all my books; why I’ve never had a business partner; why I can be a difficult spouse. I think I'm that way in part because I’ve had to be the one in charge, the one to make decisions, the one to set the course for my success for so long that I’ve forgotten others in my life can and will help. That someone else might know more than me about how to get what I want. That they could not just make my life easier, but also make it better.
While some of Gloria’s feedback has stung, it is also helping me become a better writer. She flipped the vision I had of my current project on its head and has shown me I needed a different view. As a result, the story is getting richer and more compelling with every revision.
It’s amazing how getting an outsider’s perspective – or looking at your own vision from a completely different perspective – can move it forward in new and unexpected ways. This experience makes me wonder where else in my life I need to go a little sideways so I can see a different set of options, possibilities, or narratives.
Working with a coach can make a huge difference in many areas of life, especially when you need a perspective shift. Even as a coach, it helps to have a coach! If your vision isn’t taking you where you thought it would – or perhaps not where it could – find someone who can (gently) flip that picture on its head. You may discover the upside-down world is even better than you could have imagined!